this year's National Day song made me cry!

TWICE!

emo emo..

especially the story of the little girl.

so it might be really stressful here, and much freer overseas.

but this has been home the past 22 years, is home.. 

and in the strangest of ways, i really love Singapore.

i want my own frowning sweetie.

:)

... in 6-7 years time?

i watched Dark Knights yesterday! it's nice, a good movie. hee. had a few shocks, and raph-cover-her-eyes, dee-cover-her-ears moments. i'm so not a movie person, probably watch one in a few months. but i saw the trailer of another movie i want to watch! Eagle's eye.. or something along those lines.

Ehub's not too bad a place to go. now there's a nice cinema alternative to the ones in town. ;) plus it's under Cathay so i get my privilege when i wave my student card. i always think it's a bitter-sweet thing.. so i do get something at a cheaper rate with that card, but i also get much less sleep with that card.

speaking of student cards or anything student related.. semester 1 AY 2008-2009 is going to start soon.  so utterly sad. bidding for modules is going to start next week.. grrr.. how come science/engineering students don't have to bid for their modules but all the (happening) arts students have to bid for theirs? so it's going to be back to lectures/tutorials/mtgs, 38 deadlines in 12 weeks schedules (at least that was my schedule last semester) and being surrounded by girls who look like they're ready to PARTY more than study. i'm going back as a honours year student! which is really weird because in all honesty, i can remember the time i was a year one student.

that said, i hope i'll only be going back this time for 2 weeks. i sincerely can only find one module that i would be vaguely interested in reading, introduction to clinical neuropsychology (disorders related to brain impairments), and only if i can choose to write my paper on something language and brain related. And out of desperation, i would need to fulfill credit requirements and take other modules like evolutionary psychology, history and systems of psychology (urgh) and i- can't- think- of- one- more-i'd- be- interested- in. all because i've already read three honours year modules in the past AY.

so there, the troubles of raphaela hew. oh woes woes..  (i like the tiny whatever-bummer mouth)

lovey,
raph

i know.. from not blogging to one post almost every other day.

must be something to do with.. not having much else to do? :)

had a prac session yesterday in church with MM, and i enjoyed myself. :) we've had many songs that individuals in the church have written over the years, and MM's looking to record them. i've always felt more comfortable with the keyboard than with the mike, though it's the mike i've had to be good friends with over the years. haha.. playing with MM's different. There's a basic level of understanding as to what music is, involves, should be like.. what feels right or wrong, because mostly music cannot be put into the most precise of words. everyone wants only the best that they can give to God, in that sense we're acutely aware that we are musicians too.

 i don't want anyone to think i'm putting down YFM when i say all these. i'm proud of all the young ones in YFM. :) it's a learning point, and there's always something both ministries can learn, and needs to be learning. With YFM, it's the realisation that we need to be musicians too. there IS a right and wrong where music is concerned, where the feel of music is concerned, where technique is concerned. and if we CAN reach there if we just try, and put effort in improving our technical skills, what's our excuse for not doing so? The heart of worship is not the absence of a pursuit of excellence. Instead, it IS the pursuit of giving our best to Jesus, We joined the music ministry, so we do our part in serving God and the church as musicians. 

side track, I've been living the 9am-5pm life the past weeks. haha.. basically hoping KKH will call me, and that hope is lit during office hours of 9am-5pm everyday. monday to saturday. okok.. hee. God doesn't follow office hours, so since my source of hope doesn't follow office hours i'll try not to too.   

just some thoughts. :)

lovey,
raph 

surrender.

not just the bad things.

the good things as well.

especially the good things.

you know when God shows you good things
things you know are on His heart for you.
things you know and see
desires
deep within you.
that come from meeting God in the most inner place.

it's the not knowing how..
you'll get there.
not knowing what you ought to do, when 
yet knowing it must be
that's difficult.

the fear of missing something,
making a wrong decision.
just anything.

then there are things you want.
think it would be a blessing to have.
good things.
how can they be anything but good?
in your perception at least.

God is demanding all these from me again.

it is not these things He wants me to want.

not till I learn
it is Him i am to want most.

surrender.

even the good things.

because God is always better.

then live it out.
let it play out in everyday life.
let the heart of surrender manifest in the everyday life.

may God be glorified.
and may I become more and more like Jesus.

it is no longer i who live
but Christ who lives in me

and the life which i now live in the flesh,
i live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave Himself up for me.